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Hi Everyone.
I would love to get sponsored so I can bring MHFA courses to Southern California for free. http://spnsr.is/SW
The CAMHProject page is here
On Sponsorist 5% of all sponsorships collected from you towards my cause will go to The Trevor Project.
I’m getting settled in my new job with NAMI and my boyfriend is doing pretty well. I figured a fun way to get back to blogging is to document how long a full tank of gas can last us. We share an old car that gets about 25 miles to the gallon. So far there are about 12 miles driven since my Garrett filled up the tank.
Day One
Drove to NAMI office and back. We ordered a two tier cd tower for our living room/dining room. It wasn’t in stock at Best Buy, Target, or Walmart but Walmart allowed us to pay $1.97 for shipping. We walked downtown and wound up at Starbucks. Then we walked back to our apt and stopped by to get more soda from 7-11. Boring yes. But it got us out of the house. Without using up gas. Mission accomplished.
He was resting when I saw him the first night. He told me he did not want me present when the social worker and psychiatrist evaluated him. That didn’t bother me. So I went home and the 3rd glass of wine was full next to my bed when I woke up. Exhaustion is an understatement. I got to the hospital the next morning and accidentally walked in when he was being evaluated but I was able to stay. The social worker was worried that his meds were going to change. She decided to let him go home and see his regular psychiatrist the following day.
Both of us got a lovely cold from the hospital which made taking care of him a breeze. We didn’t cook because we weren’t hungry. His psychiatrist just upped one of his anti-psychotic meds and lowered his anti-depressant. It’s less that a week and his brain is being kind to him. He played his guitar and cooked dinner today. Pretty good for Friday the 13th. I’m still reeling but working for NAMI is helping a lot. My cat has a longer attention span than I do right now. Thank goodness for coffee. This weekend we are going to watch football and catch up with family. Maybe we’ll make it up that rabbit hole after all but it I know it’s not going to be forever. I am just very lucky that last weekend wasn’t worse. Very little money spent but there was money in the bank. He didn’t drive our car when I was gone. And he wasn’t exactly in one piece when I got home but for a break we are very very lucky. Scary but it’s over. Onwards and upwards…
This weekend was the Family to Family Teacher Training in Malibu at the Serra Retreat Center. I thought I learned a lot in Family to Family as a participant. It’s nothing compared to what I learned this weekend and it’s not over yet. Mental illness should NEVER be compared to any other medical condition. It is in a class all its own. You cannot snap out of it. You can’t be in recovery for one year and get a pat on the back from a doctor. You can’t put a cast on it and it’s fixed 4-6 weeks later. You can’t pull a neurotransmitter from a leg and insert into the brain and make it all better. You can’t grow healthy cells and insert them into the brain to realign the chemicals. Those chemicals are on their own path. And in mental illness forget about trying to map it. It’s impossible. Even with medications. No really forget it. Unless you want to fight against the system in your own way and learn about it which I did later this weekend. Damn it it’s still not over. It never will be.
If want to really know how much stigma there is in our society with mental illness have a child with mental illness, a spouse, or a parent. Be optimistic and imagine a diagnosis was made that actually fits. Then go ask for help from your coworkers, your boss, your friends, your other spouse, your parents, your siblings. Then go ask your doctor, your insurance company, your state budget, your federal budget. Then pretend to live a normal life. Go ask a person who has been diagnosed with a mental illness how it feels to not have the capacity or ability to express how they feel because they are terrified of hearing their own words come out of their mouth about their own mind. It’s biologically impossible sometimes. You ever feel like you are shell of who you used to be? What if mental illness never gave you a chance? And what if there were compassionate and empathetic people who want to understand what’s going on? They don’t appreciate the pain and rejection from doctors/society about the lack of information about this illness. Want to find them? Call NAMI and go to a General Support Meeting. Sign up for the Family to Family free course. Now you might be able to pretend you feel human again.
So in this world that affects 1 in 4 Americans we explored and expanded our safety net together. We admitted our own personal stories which included hospitalizations that affects 1 in 16 Americans. We saw the darkest artwork you could never imagine. With the guidance of our California instructors we created space for our situation. We all are different. Spouses, single moms, ex drug addicts, daughters, fathers, siblings, one participant who has a diagnosis and her father has one. She is my hero. There was one married couple. My other heroes for the weekend. Together we learned how to lead others towards becoming people who can teach others about this and be advocates. This weekend was our aha moment as a group and it was exhausting yet empowering.
When I got home my boyfriend was having a psychotic break. He had not seemed well when I talked to him on the phone yesterday but I had no one to call. I was in Indy in October and told his family to go see him because he needed a med adjustment but he hadn’t been to the doctor yet. I explained to them it was like my boyfriend was in a car wreck and he was alone on the side of the road. One said they had stomach problems and couldn’t make it and one said they didn’t get off work till 8pm. I think it was fear. Which is stigma’s kindle, lighter fluid, propane, etc. So I didn’t call them yesterday.
I called 911 and the local mental hospital. Because he appeared drunk (which was impossible looking at his financial spending for the weekend btw) he was taken to Pomona Valley Hospital to be medically cleared first and then I assumed I would drive him down to Chino to a mental hospital for three days. When I got to the hospital I went in and three girls in two different windows ignored two of us in line. I had to go up to the window and ask if someone can help us. I went up to the line and was told to move over to the line with two girls who had their back to me and were having their own conversation. In admitting. In ER. By themselves. Thanks. When I asked about my boyfriend I was told he didn’t have a room yet. I watch Teebow knock out Rothsbuerger and went back to the window. This time I was told no visitors. No way no day. I explained to them I was the one who called 911 and I was his caregiver. No dice. I persisted. No. The nurse came out 5 minutes later and threatened to call security on me because I refused to leave the window without any answers. The admitting office told me if he was admitted as a 5150 (code for harm to oneself or others which he admitted to me at home) then he is now state’s property. He has no rights. I have no right to see him. Even if he is transported to another location as a 5150 I have no right to know where is going-when he is going-or how he is doing. I told you not to compare it. Don’t even try. I couldn’t go back there if I was a wife, mother, child, priest, etc. Only the medical staff and social work are entitled to his charm at this point. Needless to say the nurse threatened to call security on me. My boyfriend can be a pain the ass but he is more than a piece of California property!!!
It’s been four hours and two glasses of wine later. I called the hospital and they told me “Oh, he’s in bed 11.” I ask are you sure I can see him because I was told I could not see him earlier. She asks for my name and puts me on hold. “Yeah you can come back.” Me. “Do I have to sign a waiver or anything with his permission to see me?” Admitting. “No. You can come back.”
Funny I went from almost kicked out to getting in. Did I mention my NAMI coworker/manager called the hospital for me after the first incident. Well. We did. And guess what system? I’m one in sixteen loved ones. And I’m on the 2011 board under Public Policy and Criminal Justice. Now. I am going to go visit my boyfriend. Tell him what a great weekend I had. That his brain is an asshole but that’s not his fault. And come home and drink another glass of wine.
So no more holidays. I think the mail is back to normal although I’m still missing one textbook for college and I started the course today (I go to Kaplan online for Health and Wellness). I am not vegan yet but I’m almost there to support my brother. I’m drinking crazysexy green smoothies and feeling rested again. The only thing that is missing is my exercise. Gyms are too packed in January. I am not bitter about this. I think it’s awesome people really want to change their lives. I discovered GAIAMTV and get a lot of good challenges there or I can do Blogilates. I also am walking with my boyfriend. We went to the Botanical Gardens in Claremont last week. Not as pretty in the winter as in spring but it’s very very peaceful and still a great place to go. Funny that I am falling back into this pattern of walking and yoga even when I’m not depressed. Guess that’s the secret right. Get to know what works when life is working so when things fall by the wayside you have something in your back pocket to get you out of the rut.
You have about 3 or 4 days left to join my team for the Yoga Journal 21 Day Challenge. You are supposed to eat one vegetarian meal per day which should be easy but it can give you a chance to try a new recipe. You are also supposed to meditate for 15 minutes per day. I am looking forward to this right before I go to sleep or right when I wake up. I can’t imagine taking time out during the middle of the day for meditating although this part of the challenge might surprise me the most.
To be honest I’m not a big new year’s resolution girl. The calendar changes and we are expected to change with it or else pretend we don’t care. It’s a let down waiting to happen. I’d rather change one thing at a time when I feel confident I’m going to succeed. I may not know if I’m going to succeed in the challenges ahead but sometimes I think I can so I go for it. I also like to do wayyy more than I can fit into my life. Then I remember I am forgetting to take my vitamins and I’ve worked 8 days in a row. I have to remind myself it’s OK to just be a couch potato on my day off when I’m tired (I usually get reminded by my boyfriend) and to reconnect with exercise. Yoga has saved me more than anything else. My back pain disappears, my posture improves, my appetite stays the same even under stress, and my mood is much more even. So now I’m inviting everyone to join me in Yoga Journal’s 21 Day Challenge. I cannot remember the last time I did yoga 21 days in a row. I think it was in 2005 when I was depressed and I didn’t know how to treat myself and I had no insurance. I forced myself to do yoga at least 15 minutes a day and walk 15 minutes a day. Luckily I was living in Claremont, CA so my self-therapy worked. I snapped out of it and looking back I’m glad I wasn’t as objective as I should have been because I just expected to feel better the very next day everyday till I actually did.
I am not expecting anything out of this new challenge except to finish it. December was crazy for me. I did a Lucky Clover Jewelry Roadshow and we beat our goal by 27%. I started the NAMI PEI (Prevention and Early Intervention) job for LA County. I co-facilitated my last Mental Health First Aid under Tri City Mental Health’s sponsorship at the Islamic Center of San Gabriel Valley. I managed to throw the easiest surprise birthday party for my boyfriend which is the day after Christmas. All I did was bring both sides of the extended families together for the first time for a great dinner. Some texts and whispers and it was done. It was perfect! I think I excelled at the University of Google searching for complementary treatments for my brother’s cancer which decided to come back after his high dose stem cell treatments. He’s mostly vegan now, juicing, taking supplements under the care of a health center for cancer patients and doing new chemo. Today we found out his numbers dropped from over 400 to 140 so he’s killing it!
Believe it or not this should be a fun and should make us feel lighter and stronger. It’s been a while since I’m felt centered but I’ve been really determined to get settled with my boyfriend’s mental health. He finally did it. As in 3 years later he finally found a cocktail that works. This will be my little gift to myself an hour a day for three weeks. More good things to come!
We were unable to get enough sign ups for the last MHFA USA Course. This poll will help you and I ensure we set up the course where it is in highest demand at the most convenient times.
We also can schedule a pre MHFA USA Certification Course Meetup to answer any questions you may have.
Take the time to enter specific suggestions under comments.
When you bought your last new computer do you remember how fast it ran? Clean as a whistle and fast as lightning. You thought it was so worth the money because it’s 10 times faster than your old computer. Without upkeep your new computer starts running slow and freezing within six months even with that antivirus running. Now you are mad. “This computer is crap! It’s so slow!” Hi there and welcome to your analogy of how your body works.
We start off brand new and clean as a whistle but then 30, 40, 50+ years later we run like crap! We have all these medical problems. Some are our fault and some are habits we didn’t know would hurt us. Some we are born with but upkeep is essential for running smoothly regardless of the origin of the illness.
I went to the NAMI Pomona Valley Holiday General Meeting last night. It was awesome to see so many people there. We usually get 20-30 people there and last night there were over 80 people in attendance! Awesome! People were lining up on each side of the buffet that was filled with KFC(EEK!) ,cheese trays, and what seemed like tons of processed deserts. I brought a makeshift layered dip with no sour cream, no guacamole, my beans, rice, cheese, salsa, and tortilla chips. No one at it. Then again Tuesday is homework day so I didn’t really have time to prepare something better. The healthiest department was the beverage department. Water, hot tea, or coffee. They did not serve soda. KUDOS!!!
This was the food that was being served to people who have a mental illness or are related to someone who has a mental illness. A serious medical condition that needs to be addressed more often by your family, your doctor, your state, and your country. And the funny thing is that we all brought the food ourselves. I was frustrated.
Our guest was Dr. Robert Liberman who began speaking about recovery from mental illness. He’s been working on rehabilitating people from mental illnesses for decades. He went to Japan and his program was nationally implemented. In Japan the mental health stigma is horrendous. But with his detailed guideline Japan’s mental health program was able to see the benefits of his recovery process. It was inspiring until I looked over at the buffet table and wondered why he never mentioned nutrition in his speech. His program has not been nationally implemented in the United States for some pathetic bureaucratic reason. Well I wish it was the bureaucrats fault. But it falls on us. We don’t scream loud enough. We don’t voice our complaints about below satisfactory treatment for inpatient and outpatient care enough times. Dr. Liberman told us a horrible fate about Cedars Sinai Mental Health hospital. He said it is closed now. Inpatient through March is open but outpatient is no longer available. I called and the receptionist has remorse in her voice. It is now going to be a surgical center. REALLY??? Sorry I already wrote that this week but C’MON! This center was paid for by celebrities for the public. Closed. Would we close a dialysis center? I try not to count them as I drive around because it just makes me mad. One day when I am far enough away from the pain of the treatment I got and my boyfriend got trying to get any kind of decent help for his diagnosis I’ll write a blog about it. If you think that’s going against my own advice think again. I voiced all my concerns in Family to Family class. I am now working for NAMI and I am the Public Policy Board Member for 2012 for NAMI Pomona Valley. I turned it around. I am still pissed. But I got productive and still feel those raw wounds. They may always feel raw. But no one else needs to feel that pain. Especially people who have a diagnosis. Like Dr. Lieberman explained reasonably normal lives removes stigma. Be someone’s advocate, be your own advocate.
So now what? Go clean out your body, mind, and spirit. Go pick 1 of the 70 Project tips and do it today. In addition start with this tip. Write down what you eat for three days and go to FitDay (yay! free personalized site) and enter in your data. Better yet go see a nutritionist or personal trainer and get a professional review of your diet. If you afraid of getting yelled at don’t worry about it. They are there to help first and cringe and come down on you when you fall off the healthy wagon. Get all your nutrients from food-not canned, not processed, REAL food. Hit the reset button. A new year is coming and you deserve your health. Sickness comes free but you have to earn wellness. Your mental and physical health will thank you. And so will I. Thank you in advance for caring enough about your own wellbeing to reach for optimum health. You deserve it.
So I finally have a day off after working 10 days straight as a roadshow carnie for Costco. Don’t worry I still have my teeth. It’s been a mixed day, week, and 3 years. Wednesday just sucked. My brother’s cancer is coming back. Really cancer? REALLY! I wonder why his cancer is acting so nice and obedient to chemotherapy and then runs around like it never got in trouble once the chemo is out of his body. I spent too much time online trying to figure out what we missed. I ended up on Crazy Sexy Life and started to begin to feel something after being numb for a few days. The support I got there is amazing. Heartwarming advice from complete strangers was such a surprise which I will always be grateful for. I even have my own page there now. Is my brother’s cancer teaching me anything? Am I as healthy as I can be? Probably not but I am in a slow and steady climb to optimal health. I still drink coffee, I still drink beer and wine-can’t remember when I bought anything harder. I haven’t eaten meat in over a year. I ate some turkey on Thanksgiving in 2010. But I’m the health and wellness student with the emphasis on mental health. Should I be stricter on myself? Absolutely. How far can I go? Well the further I go in my degree plan the less I want to be anything but a vegan. My brother’s numbers make me wonder what should be done to avoid cancer and why we don’t have the answers. He has to come up with his own. But as a sister I want to start making him green juice for breakfast, pay for unlimited yoga classes, and make sure he gets acupuncture. Without any concrete answers about stabilizing cancer or eliminating cancer through diet where do we go to begin our journey? Is it the same with mental illness? Try to tell someone who’s on 4 or 5 medications they should go vegan and do yoga and see what happens. Then again what is so great about taking 4 or 5 medications and eating like crap, having no fulfilling relationships, and not having a rewarding career? I want all the answers now which can only come from the individual. If enough of us eat pure food with the least amount of processing available maybe we can create positive change.
Maybe I just want to be vegan because it’s my way of doing all I can to be healthy for myself. I want to challenge my own definition of, “I’m healthy.” Last week my boyfriend split a can of Sun Vista beans. We each had horrible headaches for two days after we ate them. We didn’t share any other food and nothing in our environment changed. So without concrete proof it can’t possibly be the beans right? But I never want to buy a can of black beans again. I want my food to keep me healthy and make me healthier than I am now. I don’t want my food to be an industry. It sounds so radical but obviously the more you know the more rational it is. People hear I’m a vegetarian and offer me fish all.the.time. When I’m working the main aisles of Costco and I see the carts of the unhealthy I want to cringe. Or conjure up Bob Harper. No one tells these people ANYTHING about what’s really healthy or not. But some can’t walk, some limp, most are overweight, and the carts with the most of fresh fruits, veggies, nuts, with a little bit of meat always look the healthiest. It’s not a coincidence and we should take that example to our kitchens and dinner tables.
This week is a big week for me. I start working for NAMI tomorrow. I have MHFA training this weekend. But I’ll be thinking about carving out a safe spot for all of us to find the answers we all need to live the healthiest life we can inside and out-cancer or mental illness or not. For my happiness I am doing my project tips. I’m exercising, tapping, playing with my cat, (thinking seriously about) trying something (drastically) new, and reminding myself to live in the moment. It’s such a battle right now to just think in the present. I’m willing to surrender what I’m meant to learn in my life right now. And right now I’m going to soak some beans and do yoga, catch up on my poor neglected homework, and enjoy some Sunday football.
Share this European style Sipping Chocolate with your loved ones while it’s still around! We found this at Trader Joe’s and got all the holiday shopping done early. My boyfriend found an awesome shirt with the Muppets walking across Abby Road at Target. Good day!
Hi Everyone. Amy’s Journey is my little corner of CAMHProject.
I’ve always been interested in complementary and alternative
health and brain illnesses run in both sides of my family
Three years ago I began dating my current boyfriend. We
dated briefly before and he was excited about starting a new life together.
Soon after we began dating he started fainting for no reason. He had just moved
and was in between jobs so we kept going to the ER. They would tell him he was
fine and pump him full of anxiety medications and send him home. He got
admitted to a mental hospital and a psychiatrist diagnosed him with fibromyalgia
after spending 5 minutes with him. Over an entire YEAR LATER he was diagnosed
with bipolar disorder. By the way I will NEVER forget Janice the nurse at USC.
She’s an angel. She took me back where I wasn’t supposed to be and was able to
meet with my boyfriend and the doctor who diagnosed him correctly just at the
right moment. When we got the official diagnosis we were relieved to actually
have an answer. But why did it take so long? Why did the medical community take
away at least a year that has turned into three years from his life? Is it just
as hard for medical professionals to diagnose mental illnesses as it is for us?
Soon after the diagnosis someone mentioned NAMI to me and we
both went to their free general meeting. We finally felt human again. There
were others who were confused about their loved one’s medical condition. The
only downside was that I was the only significant other in attendance. Everyone
else was there because they were related in some way. The parents carried a lot
of guilt. Mothers thought it was the flu they got when they were pregnant or their
child got early in their life. Dads wondered why they didn’t see any signs
sooner and why they never got help at the first sight of mental health issues.
Then again teenagers are teenagers and they didn’t know better. I signed up for the Family to Family class and spent 12 weeks learning about mental illness symptoms, brain chemicals, medications, self-care for the caregiver, boundaries for loved ones, and expectations for recovery. We all shared and vented in ways no else could understand. Again I was the only significant other. Meanwhile my
boyfriend went into group therapy and struggled to find a medication cocktail
that made him feel human yet mentally stable. We each learned a lot about having a healthy relationship without triggering each other. I learned to see him as an
individual and not his illness which helped him manage his condition with more
confidence.
I decided to enroll in a Health and Wellness program online
with a focus on mental health. I ended up having to try to work full time in
this economy while being the prime caregiver for my boyfriend. I managed to get
certified as a Mental Health First Aid Instructor. Luckily I was working as an
independent contractor in marketing and catering and was able to stay afloat
most of the time.
Earlier this year I realized I had accumulated a lot of
experience in living with someone who has a mental illness and health and
wellness practices. I decided to start CAMHProject to get rid of the stigma of
mental illness. I recently got hired by NAMI to increase attendance in their Family to Family Course .My boyfriend is waiting to begin a certification
program for Drug and Alcohol Counselor and is improving with his
medication cocktail. It’s taken three years of us being together to get this
far. It’s not perfect but the hard work has paid off. He suffered for much longer which is not uncommon. We went from terrified, frustrated, and relieved. We took 10 steps
back, one step at a time forward to taking action. The approval rating in 2009 SOCH report for mental illness inpatient and outpatient care was below 60%. The
average wait time for people to get help for mental illness is 10 years. I
should be done with school within one year and then I’m going to enroll in a
Masters program for Public Health.
I’ve created this modest life with my boyfriend and it’s
better than we could have imagined when we started down this path. Now I feel
like we are both actually living.
Everyone says how strong I am for staying but I don’t think
I am. If it was another medical condition would I be considered so strong? I’d
be considered heartless if I left during a cancer or diabetes diagnosis. I’ve always
kept that objective when defining my place in our relationship. I could have
been a better caregiver but I’m glad I stayed. Just like any other medical
illness once it’s under control everyday is a blessing.
Hope this helps you all understand my perspective on mental
health and CAMHProject. With all the serious issues I have been through I think it’s important for caregivers and those with a diagnosis to enjoy life, wear a sarcastic t-shirt, and lighten up a little. We all deserve to enjoy life!
Welcome to Project Sunday Test Your Boundaries! This was the toughest article I have written for this blog. I could say I had to work today but work actually had me today. But here is the final 10 for Project Week!
1. Test your boundaries by creating a weekly mood chart. Did you exercise, eat right, take your medications and/or vitamins? How was your mood on the days you put in some effort?
2. Test your boundaries of the treatment you get from your doctor. Take your mood chart to your next doctor’s visit. If you have a diagnosis this so important. It’s really priceless. You will be able to log what medications have impacted you and in what way.
3. Test your boundaries of what you expect from recovery or remission. This varies from person to person. If you don’t define it though it will never happen.
4. Test your boundaries of what you think is possible for yourself. Do you think that you are living a high quality of life? I’m still working on mine and I completely understand how hard it is. Try to go to sleep at night knowing you did your best.
5. Test your families boundaries in a positive way. Have you sat them down and explained your diagnosis to them? Have you told them you have been considering treatment for a mental health issue? Get them involved in your wellbeing beyond smalltalk. Remember when they told you they would do anything for you? Ask them for support.
6. Test the boundaries of past accomplishments. Can you build on them? What’s the first step?
7. Test your language boundaries. Try to learn Spanish or another foreign language. You will be pleasantly surprised by making an effort with someone who speaks English as a second language.
8. Test your boundaries of time management. Do you ever wonder where did the day go? Try logging your activities for a few days and make necessary changes.
9. Test your boundaries of your opinion of others. I have used TED to hear inspirational speakers on a variety of topics. This site never gets boring.
10. Bored of your bookmarks? Go to Killerstartups. New website concept test the boundaries of the infinite web. I get inspired by this site because these are people who might redefine our future as we know it. Get there first.
Now next time you need self-care strategies or a productive way to spend your time you know where to go! Consider them healthy reminders how beneficial common sense is in everyday life! Hope you feel a little more positive after Project Week!
Hi Everyone! Amy here
CAMHProject stands for Complementary and Alternative Mental Health Project
Take a look around and enjoy your stay!
Let's Remove The Stigma Together!
Amy
